I have gone back and forth all morning trying to decide whether to post about what happened this morning...I will...but seriously don't think less of me.
So my parents brought back TONS of Utah peaches while the attended Education Week. I am thrilled! I have been eating like 3 peaches A DAY! While the taste AMAZING, they do keep you REALLY regular (if you know what I mean).
So this morning I wake up and then I drop Spencer off at school. Just like every morning. Let me paint the picture for you....
I am wearing nasty green work out pants, with my nasty BRIGHT YELLOW girls camp shirt. I have my crocs on (to everyone that thinks adults shouldn't wear crocs...sorry, I love them). OH, and I didn't have bra one...please don't think less of me. I didn't wash my face last night before going to bed (so shoot me), so I have mascara flaking down my face. My hair is pulled up into a greasy hair bun, and my bangs are pulled back with a bobby pin. Needless to say...I look white trash.
Grace is still in her PJ's.
So I am dropping Spencer off. When I pass Dobson I feel the need to "go to the bathroom". Its ok. I just drop him off at the institute building, and then drive home.
Well all of the sudden there is a traffic jam like 1 mile before ASU??? Oh no. THis might take some time. So then when we FINALLY pass RUAL road I REALLY have to go. I am getting chills. So like 10 mins after I have the feeling that I REALLY need to go, I am finally dropping him off! I realize that I will not make it home (yes, it was THAT bad).
I start thinking "what should I do?"
OH, my dads work is close by. I start RACING to his office. WAIT....it isn't close enough...this just went from hurry, to EMERGENCY!
So I start praying that I will make it...nope...that won't do. I see a subway across the street. I cut off like 10 million cars, and they all honk while I speed into the parking lot. I grab Grace, and start walking as fast as I can (running would not have been good at that point) to the subway. I walk in, and go straight to the bathroom.
OH CRAP (literally), the door is locked! I am just about ready to die, when this nice man comes and unlocks the door for me. He says...
"oh, this looks like an emergency!" (thanks kind sir, as if I didn't feel like a total RETARD already)
So I race in, and while I am in there I think to myself
"Jami, this is a low point in your life...just in case you were wondering!"
I am so ashamed to walk out of the bathroom to see this man again. I walk out, and he stops me...
I think "oh my gosh, I am going to die!"
He says " don't worry I have kids too!"...what was that...did he just say that he thinking the reason I was RACING to the bathroom is b/c I am potty training Grace?
WOW, someone really is watching out for me!
I don't think I will ever live this down people!
11 comments:
Kids are great excuses. For a while I was able to publicly try to make Simeon the "reason" we are always late for church. Then one Sunday, Kristina and Simeon are gone to her parents and I am home alone...and in I walk about 7 minutes after the meeting starts. THE SECRETS OUT! It was always me making us late.
But, it still just goes to show that kids are blessings in that sometimes they cover for you just by being there ;)
You are a woman after my own heart. We must hang out. Worst feeling ever. Peaches aside, do you have certain places that trigger an emergency? For me it's Border's Books and Walgreens. I can pretty much count on it...
You POOR thing! Once, when I was a nanny, I had a similar experience (though I didn't have any peaches to blame!). I had the youngest with me in the van, passed out cold while we were waiting in car line for his older brother to get out of school, when all of a sudden--I was almost in tears as I hurried the van away because I was thinking, "Oh my gosh. This is it, I'll be done with this job. I'll have to quit after this. You can't just keep working for someone after YOU have a bathroom accident in THEIR car!!!" and I rushed into a grocery store nearby with the half-asleep little boy. I'm pretty sure that he just laid down on the floor of the bathroom and went to sleep, poor guy.
But thank goodness that nice man didn't even blink and didn't suspect you at all!
Oh my! What a story. Good thing you didn't have to buy anything to use the bathroom! I've seen signs that say "customers only".
Moral of the story: No more peaches!
HA HA HA!!! Everytime I walk into Target this exact thing happens. Although i have issues about going Number 2 in public. I cant get over it. So naturally I run around target like an idiot and hurry home. ha ha.
LOL! You are funny
Oh man, that was a funny story! Why do those things always seem to happen when you look so crappy? That's the worse when you just gotta go like that. Good that you had Grace to use as an excuse though!
Jami,
As my mother loves to say, "SHIT HAPPENS." I'm so glad you made it in time and didn't poo yourself.
I'm especially glad you had Grace to blame it on.
I am also reminded of the 4+ years I spent in junior high and high school never taking off my sports bra. I slept in it (well I would change them out when they started to smell). Maybe I should start doing that again, since it looks like ya never know when you might need to be wearing one. : )
I liked the poo post.
Jamie you continually crack me up. I think we have all been in the same spot but never admit it. I love that Grace was your excuse. Kids are great.
lol!
bless grace.
I am crying tears that is so funny Jam. that is SO you and I can totally picture the entire thing. Literally.. tear is rolling down my face..!!
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