So apparently, I have made myself look like a very mean, and judgemental person, who lets things offend them. This is surprising to myself, because 1. I don't' think of myself as one of those people (but it is very possible that I am) and 2. I was NOT at ALL thinking I was going to get the responses that I did!
I have thought a lot about what people have said, and have decided that I am being taken WAY WAY WAY to seriously! I will be the first person to admit that I am NOT a good writer. I read other peoples blogs, and covet their writing abilities. I have lots of funny things going on in my little head, and sometimes I try and write them on this blog. It turns out that my ability to get my thoughts from my head, to the paper are NO GOOD! Now don't misunderstand me...I was REALLY mad, and I didn't do a great job at conveying that. There are many times that I do mean to sound serious on my blog, but for the most part I am just venting my thoughts and frustrations.
My 2nd thought about the comments are that people don't know my grandpa. The truth of the matter is...that he was telling the truth. You all might have really cute old grandpas that say and do really funny things. They are funny, because the are old and "don't have a filter", or are simply losing their blessed little minds. My Grandpa is NONE of the above. He is older, but he is by no means losing his filter. He knows what he is saying, and he just feels that it is his duty to spread his feeling about things. I don't blame him, I like to share my thought and opinions as well. Maybe I should mention, that after I chewed him out for calling me fat, he said "Jami, I was just offering a polite suggestion". That translates to "Jami, I wasn't joking around, and you really should watch what you eat". It is nice to think that he was just joking...but he wasn't. I was there, and he was NOT joking. You might be thinking "oh, she is just sensitive"...I am...but not that sensitive to misunderstand a joke. I know what he was saying, and I was not misunderstanding. He wasn't joking, and if he was...my response to that is...you don't joke about woman and their fat.
My 3rd thought is...when I got home I was really upset. I thought I had every reason to be upset. I obviously am the minority in that thought. Most of you thought I should just let it go. Well you are all right. I SHOULD let it go...but I didn't. I thought that most people would agree that it is wrong to tell a girl that she should watch what she eats, and then pat her belly. Obviously I am wrong. Apparently it is somewhat normal. So what I was looking for in writing this post was VALIDATION. I did not get any.
In conclusion, I have learned LOTS. I will never claim to be EVEN CLOSE to a really nice person. I have SOO many things to work on in my life, it is daunting. I am always overwhelmed at all of the things in my life that need to be worked on. I am often quick to judge, and slow to forgive. I sometimes get offend about stupid things. I need to probably take the things that people tell me, and implement them in my life. I will ALWAYS be the first person to admit these things. I am sorry if I offend other people in venting my frustrations. I was simply looking for some validation.
8 comments:
That does explain a lot about your grandpa. And you're right, he shouldn't have said anything about your weight.
I thought you did get a lot of validation from commentors. Most people agreed that his comment was out of line, even if they thought he had been joking.
I use my blog to vent sometimes too. For me if I just "get it out" then I feel better afterwards and then I don't have to think about it anymore. But you just seemed so upset about it. It's hard as reader to see someone you care about get so upset about something and not offer some sort of advice.
Looking back on what people said I was shocked as well at how serious people were taking you. Like telling you not to let this seperate you from your family. Knowing our family as well as I do, things blow over. We never really act upon anything. we vent, were over it. Simple as that. It was really hard for me to read other peoples comments and think well that doesnt apply to grandpa at all. He is definitely not losing his filter. And if he were we would cut him some slack. Thats why you vented. Because he isnt losing his filter and he just said something inappropriate, didnt think before he spoke and wa-la bad outcome. Theres one thing I hate about blogging that people you dont even know come preaching and commenting on your blog. you dont know them, they dont know you. Why does it matter so much to them? love you. Vent on your blog if you want!
Oh, don't worry about being mean. I don't think you are. I think your heart is in the right place. I know from experience that sometimes people take blog posts too seriously. I have been called every cuss word under the sun (anonymously, of course) and I've even been told that my dead relatives would be disappointed if they saw what I write on my blog. I have learned to just suck it up, and I can mostly get over it now.
You're FINE.
I hear ya sister! Are people for real? How do you not get offended when someone pats your belly and so forth? I think it is perfectly fine to let someone know when they were out of line. If nobody did this, there would be men talking to women any old way they felt like. It's important to set boundaries and I think that is what you have done. Nothing wrong with it.
I would have been pissed too! It's hard to see the toll having a baby takes on your once hot body, I definately understand!
PS...I love the way you right. When I read your posts, it's like your just talking to me. Sometimes, I think my posts are boring b/c I try to fix them and make them sound correct.
Oh Jami! You didn't even have to write this post. Who cares if people think you are mean? Pooh on them. (Not literally, though.) You have a right to your own dang opinion, and being told you are "fat" (which you are not, BTW!) is a sensitive subject. PERIOD. My mom said the same thing all my life and even though I love her, it didn't stop from hurting. Anonymous is just a plain ol' holier than thou with too much time and not enough compassion. Spencer is my hero for writing what he did. That's what these blogs are for, to write, journal, and vent just to get it all out. Silly, silly, people.
When I read your blog posts I often feel like I'm you but I just don't say as much. That's why I always tell you that your blogs make me laugh because I can totally see myself in a similar situation. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you write exactly what your feeling whereas Ruthann pointed out that most of us fix ours to make it seem more appropriate. Anyhow, I wanted to tell you that once again your husband is sooo cute!! I've begged my husband to post on our blog. He won't. And a post like that would make me feel oober specail!!
Well i see all the play dates your having and i want to join in! Sounds fun! Yeah hopefully Tatum wont give us any more scares. It was so good to see u at Hair do the other day..
Post a Comment